Car Bed's don't go Vrooom.

Have you ever slept in a car? I never have until yesterday. I got home and wasn't sure if anyone was here. So, I went back to my car to get my cell phone and figured that I might as well take a nap. Everyone was going to be out bowling, or so I thought. I woke up around 5am and realized that I slept a rather long time. I checked the door and still it was locked. As everyone would be still sleeping, I returned to my car and slept 2 more hours. Around this time people would be out for early morning walks, so I decided to head off to Wal-Mart, Wegmans, and Target for some early morning shopping.

Things I have learned:
If you live in you car, you car will smell unpleasent.
You can sleep in he front of a car across two seats without being on the seat belt portion, brake, or the stick if you are careful in positioning.
I am not good at keeping promises made to myself. 彼を少しキスしてしまった。Ooops.

Now, I need a shower.

Good times...then real life.

So Jeff and Mike are really great people. Not only are they allowing me to stay here, he is offering me things that he buys, food, etc. and personal space. His boyfriend will return from Argentina tomorrow morning and he says he will talk to him about my keeping his room until I move out. Even if I don't, sleeping on their luxury couch won't be at all bad. In fact, it is more cushioned than the beds at my last apartment complex.

I want to be rich enough.

Today was another 11 hour shift in the corn fields bagging ears and helping record the mutant scoring. I won't be going to the field tomorrow ... Although I could tell that my boss really wanted me to go. I know that they have a lot to do. If I work 11 hrs in one day, I only gross 77 bucks. That's sad. 77 dollars! If I worked a solid 24 hours, I'd only gross $168 bucks. My father, who makes over 23 an hour, would gross $552. That's 3.3 times as much money! For every hundred I make I probably lose 35 in taxes.

I want an income that will allow me live comfortably.

Anyways, we played a card game: Dilbert. It was fun and with MAMA's (gay mans nickname) help I did fine. When on my own, I lost my luck and became the "asshole" or loser in the card game. Everyone was really nice in explaining how to play. I've never played card games before.

Additionally, I found out the someone I met in the past and never really but almost dated didn't move alway like he said he was going to for his PhD program. At least it seems that way. Shady. I was pretty dumb in the past in how I "fell" for guys. But what can you expect when you are 19 and 20 and searching for that "perfect" love. I wanted for the next guy to be my dream guy. I know, I was rushing things. I was so insecure that noone could like me ..and maybe still am insecure about that. Not sure if things will go anywhere with Liou...he could become the best friend that I never had.

School is a more important issue. I need to focus on academics and stop working so much. I promised myself that I would review Math and Chem and Physics and Japanese. 64 hour work weeks consume so much energy that little is left for anything else than showering and sleeping and eating. I know, I'm young. Back to the gym tomorrow...I promise. Energy up. Fiber up. Protein up. Calories down. Maybe. Yay.

To Do List:
x Finish Chemistry Major entry form.
x Find out about work-study, in Chemistry.
x Find out about SciTech Grant.
x Review schedule courses.
x Decide who's taking the electric bill for the apartment.
x Apply for Nambu Foundation Scholarship, JET, and Peace Corps.
x Consider Grad Schools and exam.

Overworked and Underpaid.

I have been working over 40 hours a week all summer long and have nothing to show for it. Is it in part because my bills are two high or that I don't even make enough money, 7 and 8.20 an hour. Maybe this is much like life...work and pay debt. One can only hope to have a high paying job after graduation.

And to get a high paying job, I need to be working harder at schooling. This semester will definitely prove challenging. Physical chemistry, chemistry lab, physics, math... I can only hope that I have the energy and focus to do well.

I think I can...I think I can...I think I can.

I hope that I am not causing Jeff too many problems by staying here. It has been great so far; I have been able to stay out of the way. I can only imagine how Mike has to alter his schedule to be around when I come home. I don't have a key, so if noone was here I would not be able to gain entry. I am still so thankful to them...and know that I cannot really repay their kindness.

School texts for the next semester will cost me around 600 dollars.

I will move into my own apartment with 3 gay roommates (separate bedrooms) next weekend. Should prove to be an interesting year.

I tried to talk to some Japanese kids at the store but there seemed to be annoyed. The last time I talked to this lady and she was so happy. She started asking me a variety of questions.

I helped this kid get orange juice from the top shelf of the cooler. He was going to climb into the bottom part and stand on other juice to reach it. At checkout I helped this Asian, probably Korean, student check out and used my discount card...so he saved some cash. Yes, I was motivated to help him by the fact that he was cute.

I'm not quite sure that I still have a crush on Mr. Liou.

All for now.

My Confession.

When do we confess? When we lied and have to tell the truth. For example, I broke the vase or hit your car or had a crush on so and so. So, you are correcting some wrong by telling the most moral answer.

Well, I'm a rice queen. Before I went to Japan, I didn't even look at Asian men as attractive. Then, while in Tokyo for 9 months, I went through a development: no one was attractive, everyone that I noticed was attractive (ie. young salarymen in suits only), not everyone was attractive. It was a funny thing to reflect on, seeing hot people in the huge crowds of traveling underground in the subway. People that I never knew except for a momentary visual image. People who I couldn't even imagine their name let alone their favorite things.

Anyways, the guys that I check out these days are mostly Asian.

Some joke that it is "Asian persuasion."

Mmm. Asians R Sexy.

Green Tea Frappuccinos Suck, Mr. Meat

Ok. So I got really excited. After a long day of English conversation with foreigners, I went to Starbucks believing that the Green Tea Frappuccino could be admittedly something like the Matcha Frappuccinos that made my wallet lighter and my waistline larger last summer in Tokyo. Matcha is a bitter green tea…

(http://www.green-tea.us/matcha.htm)says:
"Matcha is derived from gyokuro. Gyokuro is a green tea that has been grown under 90% shade three weeks prior to harvest. Like other types of green tea, the leaves are steamed to prevent fermentation. Unlike gyokuro, however, the leaves are only processed to a certain point and are not rolled. Instead, the leaves are processed so that the veins are removed, producing a product known as "tencha". The tencha is further refined by grinding, traditionally on a stone mill."

Hmm..I didn’t know that. However, I do know that matcha is delicious. The green tea Starbucks drink did not meet my expectations. The flavor was more like banana and melon and a bag of sugar … and nothing like green tea should be. I would be surprised if green tea was even an ingredient.

Artificial flavors. One has to laugh at a “honey” that is corn syrup or “maple syrup” that did not even come from a maple tree. How about “cheese” that is not made from milk or juice that did not come from fruit? Preservatives. Confectioner’s glaze is made from the same bug excretion that veneer (for sealing woods, ie. tables) is made from—a polymer. My granola bar is kept “fresh” by mixing in some tocopherols.

I wish foods could just be natural.


I ate chicken today and it was not good. I think I can really continue this vegetarian thing. Meat is, well, gross. We act as though we own these creatures. We make them our slaves. And, they cannot fight us, because we trap them. We murder them. We chop them up into little pieces. And bind those pieces together with seasoning. And eat that flesh, the blood cells, the DNA. The formerly alive chicken or cow or duck or pig or deer or fish is now a chunk of meat.

Slavery is (according to dictionary.com) the state of being under the control of another person. I’d say those creatures are under the control of humans who kill them and eat them. What if we were the helpless creature…being made into chicken nuggets or hot dogs or hamburgers?

So, what. They are only animals. We are carnivorous. We have teeth for meat eating. We are smarter. It’s our world, right? And, they are our food source.

I guess I’m wrong. Eat more meat. Mmm meat. Meat. Meat. Mooo.

I should be sleeping...

I have to work at 9am and I must be early. I need to finish the DNA that I extracted yesterday from corn leaves. The corn is part of an experiment that the graduate students are running. However, I am not great at DNA extractions. I am not even good. After running an electrophoresis gel, a separation method, one should have a band of DNA and a section of RNA. If you extracted the DNA well, you will have a clearly defined and bright DNA band. If not, like me, you will have a blurry band or no band at all. I feel bad that they are going through the hard work of collected bits of leaf tissue for analysis. And, I am wasting them by not getting proper amounts of DNA isolated. Tomorrow, I will try to extract only 5 at a time, limiting my number so the DNA has less time to degrade.

I'm starting to...well, I do believe that I am becoming ever more dumb. Today, I almost turned into the incoming lane of the mall exit and, then, could have been hit by a car in the parking lot because I was making a wide turn. I stopped, which is why I say hit by another car. I'm too accident prone and too unlucky.

I'll be meeting up with some Japanese friends tomorrow for dinner. I hope it will be fun...and that they will be talkative, especially wanting to use Japanese. (They always want to practice English with me, yet talk in Japanese to each other.) I was supposed to meet up with Justin for coffee, but I think he will end up canceling. Which is okay, since I'd be cutting work at the lab short. And, I know that my boss is expecting me to get a lot done.

I have to call my new roommate for next year and plan things out. I need to plan what I must retrieve from home since I will only be home for 2 days.

Life is so busy. And, I'm a bit sleepy.

So, I'm going to go on a diet and make sure that I am working out. And, start studying, at least one hour of chemistry, one for review of math or physics, and one for Japanese.

That's the plan. Right after sleep.

Already a long week.

It's only Wednesday and I'm already wishing it was Friday. Sunday, 7hrs, Monday, 16 hrs, and Tuesday, 8hrs, combined, I have already worked 31 hrs at my two different part-time jobs. Needless to say, when I got home yesterday I crashed for 9 hrs.

Now, I'm here typing. I thought of some good things to post...but they have been forgotten.

My chemistry class is finally over which means that my summer vacation, all 4 weeks of it, has finally begun. I need to move out of my apartment next week and I hope to visit home for 2 days before returning and shacking up with Jeff. August 27, hopefully earlier, I will move into my place for the year. I think I got an A in the class, 94%, so not too bad. 2 Credits won't alter my GPA in any significant way, however.

ホモとゲイは違いがありますか？ホモというのは無礼な言葉です。ゲイの人は「俺はホモです。」と全然言ません。普通は「ホモ」と言う人はゲイのことがよく分からない異性愛者です。そして、「ゲイの人はかっこいい！」「その男はゲイです。」と言えば、無礼じゃありません。　アメリカではあるゲイの人は「queer」も言えます。でも、人によるとその言葉はまだ無礼だと思います。　所で「レズ」もすごく無礼です。「レズ」の代わりに「レズビアン」と言って下さい。他の悪い感じがある言葉はchink, jap, niggerなどです。ゲイの関係がないのに同じぐらい使えない言葉です。

I'm so bad at Japanese. I keep telling myself that I need to study grammar and watch more movies and study Kanji. I wanted to start learning Korean and Thai and eventually Chinese. If I were only smarter, I could remember more things and learn faster. As they say, 頑張ります！